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Mary James's avatar

Oh my, YES, I know that feeling and total overwhelmed disintegration. I never knew till now how to even explain it to myself.

Just hearing validation of someone else being able to describe the experience has broken me open. I write with floods of tears I am there with you and your little girl AND with me and my very unhappy internal parts, AND finally we have hope. Hope of being seen, heard and whole. Thank you for being so brave and honouring us to trust and share with your journey

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Rebecca's avatar

I hear that it the intensity of your feels seemed out of proportion to you. I also notice a part of me that said in response to reading your account "how incredibly thoughtless, I would have felt angry and hurt too"!!! I know that your parts don't necessarily need external validation however felt moved to share this with you.

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Lissa Rankin, MD's avatar

Thanks for the validation. Yes, it was thoughtless. But it wasn't about the salad. And it wasn't about using IFS to bypass accountability either. It was about being with my own parts first, before addressing it with him. Sometimes, when I do this, there are no parts from the past, and this is the first time something hurts. But very often, reactivating old parts can make me overreact to something in present time that might still be upsetting, but then I know why and can be with myself before I protest the behavior to someone else.

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Jazzme's avatar

Make bacon of him. Than toss him on the lawn and make a grass salad to feed to the chickens.

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