Oh my goodness, Lissa. Change a few details, and we could’ve written the same piece.
My Mom passed in Nov 2022, and it took me more like a couple of weeks (I didn’t have much time to prepare for her transition) to reach the same recognition of freedom, but wow, how the heavens opened! And the tear ducts.
Every week I find new pieces of myself buried in a complex tapestry of love, gratitude, and intense anger as I reflect on familial influences and pressures.
Sigh. It feels so wonderful and terrifying to breathe and act with the realization that I’m fully accountable for my life now.
Thank you so much for sharing this today! <3 <3 <3
Thank you so much for publishing this piece, Lissa! This is so relatable, and ~ I assume ~ far more common and authentic than we currently know. True, most people may be afraid to admit their ambivalent emotions towards their parents, perhaps even more so after they've passed on to 'the side beyond the veil'.
On the other hand, haven't our parents always taught us to be truthful? And how can we be truthful if we are lying to ourselves?
I am grateful for your stance on 'pro choice' and offering compassionate abortions to women who for whatever reason make that choice. It's never a choice taken lightheartedly, and is always accompanied by grief and suffering of the mother(not-to)be.
"When your mother is still alive, you learn where her trauma bubbles live, and you learn to avoid those “off limits” places. When your mother is dead, you are suddenly free." ~ I know exactly what you mean! I've had my mother scream at me, when I wanted to be heard and acknowledged by her, just once. I knew never to go to that 'off limits' place again.
I am grateful for all the important questions and thoughts in this piece! 💗🙏 and for your courage to embrace the heroic journey wholeheartedly. (I've been a fan ever since reading Mind over Medicine, 10+ years ago)
Beautiful Lissa, thank you for posting your raw truth.
I’ve found it terribly interesting how we generally seem to struggle with holding juxtapositions. My mother/family can’t seem to understand how I’m hurt/angry while still loving them at the same time. People in general are so polarised, I had never noticed just how much until recently. Guess the rigidity speaks directly to the underlying wounds. We love to outsource our identities to everything but us. Your mother likely was upset about you performing abortions because part of her fragmented identity was placed in you. No amount of explaining works in these kind of scenarios. Also interesting how we’re all human yet we can have quantum leaps from person to person in overall states of consciousness.
Today is my first Mother’s Day since my mother died and reading this post was a true balm to my tender and strengthening heart. To acknowledge all parts is such a powerful experience, and to learn to hold the paradox.
Thank you all for your support and validating words. My heart goes out to all of us who feel conflicted feelings about people we've loved and lost.
Oh my goodness, Lissa. Change a few details, and we could’ve written the same piece.
My Mom passed in Nov 2022, and it took me more like a couple of weeks (I didn’t have much time to prepare for her transition) to reach the same recognition of freedom, but wow, how the heavens opened! And the tear ducts.
Every week I find new pieces of myself buried in a complex tapestry of love, gratitude, and intense anger as I reflect on familial influences and pressures.
Sigh. It feels so wonderful and terrifying to breathe and act with the realization that I’m fully accountable for my life now.
Thank you so much for sharing this today! <3 <3 <3
Thank you so much for publishing this piece, Lissa! This is so relatable, and ~ I assume ~ far more common and authentic than we currently know. True, most people may be afraid to admit their ambivalent emotions towards their parents, perhaps even more so after they've passed on to 'the side beyond the veil'.
On the other hand, haven't our parents always taught us to be truthful? And how can we be truthful if we are lying to ourselves?
I am grateful for your stance on 'pro choice' and offering compassionate abortions to women who for whatever reason make that choice. It's never a choice taken lightheartedly, and is always accompanied by grief and suffering of the mother(not-to)be.
"When your mother is still alive, you learn where her trauma bubbles live, and you learn to avoid those “off limits” places. When your mother is dead, you are suddenly free." ~ I know exactly what you mean! I've had my mother scream at me, when I wanted to be heard and acknowledged by her, just once. I knew never to go to that 'off limits' place again.
I am grateful for all the important questions and thoughts in this piece! 💗🙏 and for your courage to embrace the heroic journey wholeheartedly. (I've been a fan ever since reading Mind over Medicine, 10+ years ago)
Beautiful Lissa, thank you for posting your raw truth.
I’ve found it terribly interesting how we generally seem to struggle with holding juxtapositions. My mother/family can’t seem to understand how I’m hurt/angry while still loving them at the same time. People in general are so polarised, I had never noticed just how much until recently. Guess the rigidity speaks directly to the underlying wounds. We love to outsource our identities to everything but us. Your mother likely was upset about you performing abortions because part of her fragmented identity was placed in you. No amount of explaining works in these kind of scenarios. Also interesting how we’re all human yet we can have quantum leaps from person to person in overall states of consciousness.
Thanks again!
Today is my first Mother’s Day since my mother died and reading this post was a true balm to my tender and strengthening heart. To acknowledge all parts is such a powerful experience, and to learn to hold the paradox.
Beautiful, brilliant and liberating. Thank you