8 Comments

How fascinating to see someone actually studying & documenting this issue. I look forward to reading this book! šŸ™ŒšŸ»

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This is fantastic - I totally resonate! Please post info so I can sign up for Love School! Iā€™m a long-time IFS therapist and this is perfect for my personal journey! Paula

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Oh gosh! I totally forgot to include the link. I just added it. Here you go https://courses.lissarankin.com/love-school

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This gives me so much hope!!! I am currently healing from recurrent breast cancer and very recently seeing how my relationship dynamics are very much contributing to my illness. How I have spent my life acquiescing to everyone and everything around me. I have avoided conflict with others and end up in quiet conflict with myself. I see how I feel responsible for everyoneā€™s emotions and I can see how deeply uncomfortable I am with anyone around me being disappointed.

But my god. If knowing this and changing it can heal me, if your research is finding that- then this is wonderful news.

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There's good reason for hope, Amanda. That's why we wrote this book- because the interventions we're sharing about changing how you show up in relationships is often one of the things people have not tried. They've followed doctor's orders, changed their diet, added yoga and meditation, etc. But they're still acting like the tree in The Giving Tree story, which is how we started the book. You get to make YOU first right now. And you don't want your parts to start thinking they need cancer in order for your prioritize yourself. One of the case studies in our book is a woman with recurrent breast cancer- and last we heard, her "Selfish Bitch Project" has kept her healthy and in remission. We don't recommend skipping the oncological treatment as well, but since some of our research subjects did opt out of oncology treatment, we got to witness that some of them got better anyway, largely by becoming fierce advocates of their own parts and working on their fawning parts that over-accommodate and acquiesce when other parts really aren't in consent. Sending you blessings on your journey...

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I so cannot wait for this book to published! Put me down for preorder!

Iā€™m fascinated by this stuff. The truer I am to myself, the more authentic I become then the more my health improves.

ā€œwhile unhealthy, oppressive, non-reciprocal or narcissistic relationships can make you sick, well balanced, healthy, mutually nurturing relationships are the cornerstone of good health.ā€ Iā€™ve been on both sides - one left me completely disabled by illness and the other took me beyond what was medically believed possible.

Youā€™ve probably got your case studies in order but if you want/need another one for this book, Iā€™d love to be featured!

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That's so validating to hear you say this Amber! The manuscript is done. We just turned it in. But we'd love to hear your story. Maybe I can feature it here on Substack or my main blog. Send your story to support@lissarankin.com if you feel inspired to do so.

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Awesome I will do! Anything in particular youā€™d like me to detail?

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