My uncle is a psychiatrist and well respected in his field. In his retirement he worked in a neighboring town on the Board of Public Health during the pandemic. He also went back to seeing patients due to the mental health crisis a la policies of isolation (social distancing, masking, fear based strategies/recommendations/mandates/policies our local/city/federal govts gave to us). He and I do not agree on much related to the pandemic. We do agree with the far-reaching impacts of isolation on health (listen to Lissa's Ted Talk on he public health consequences of loneliness). And I worked over and over to allow him his subjective experience, all the while having him annihilate my subjective experience. Thank goodness I have an amazing trauma-based therapist and my boundaries were born from the pandemic policies I did not agree with, because if not, I would still be in this annihilation game with a psychiatrist uncle. I believe I was fueling his narcissistic supply. I told him that he lacked the ability to see my experience as different from his. I also validated his experience as real for him. I then stated I could no longer go on being annihilated (I am sure my language wasn't so sharp as that word in particular). And in some weird way, I was surprised and not all at once, when I never heard from him again. I guess I thought him being a psychiatrist, he would at least show some form of concern that his relationality had an impact on others. I guess I will just add psychiatrists to the list of traditional practitioners in medicine that I hold less and less faith in. I know when to boundary up and shut the door. I choose relational living. I no longer stand for people who want to wipe me off the face of the earth. It makes for a small group of friends and very little family. And I am happier for it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds excruciating. And yes, I know my Ivy League psychiatrist would agree that psychiatrists are some of the most hurt people out there, and hurt people hurt people. I'm glad you've found a small group of loved ones who can hold you close and respect your boundaries.
I feel deep gratitude to you both for your willingness to share this vulnerable and powerful experience. You are shedding rare light on the healthy boundaries that are sorely lacking in our culture, in millions of families and billions of individuals! And I, for one, am different because of your truthfulness. So, thank you 🙏🏽
I love that phrase 'from doormat to diva' and might use it myself :) Such an important and under-talked about subject area, thanks for sharing so openly and insightfully
I've been rereading your posts, loving them at new levels and finding more connections and memories along the way. Thanks for being there, and for the always gentle nudging with love.
My uncle is a psychiatrist and well respected in his field. In his retirement he worked in a neighboring town on the Board of Public Health during the pandemic. He also went back to seeing patients due to the mental health crisis a la policies of isolation (social distancing, masking, fear based strategies/recommendations/mandates/policies our local/city/federal govts gave to us). He and I do not agree on much related to the pandemic. We do agree with the far-reaching impacts of isolation on health (listen to Lissa's Ted Talk on he public health consequences of loneliness). And I worked over and over to allow him his subjective experience, all the while having him annihilate my subjective experience. Thank goodness I have an amazing trauma-based therapist and my boundaries were born from the pandemic policies I did not agree with, because if not, I would still be in this annihilation game with a psychiatrist uncle. I believe I was fueling his narcissistic supply. I told him that he lacked the ability to see my experience as different from his. I also validated his experience as real for him. I then stated I could no longer go on being annihilated (I am sure my language wasn't so sharp as that word in particular). And in some weird way, I was surprised and not all at once, when I never heard from him again. I guess I thought him being a psychiatrist, he would at least show some form of concern that his relationality had an impact on others. I guess I will just add psychiatrists to the list of traditional practitioners in medicine that I hold less and less faith in. I know when to boundary up and shut the door. I choose relational living. I no longer stand for people who want to wipe me off the face of the earth. It makes for a small group of friends and very little family. And I am happier for it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds excruciating. And yes, I know my Ivy League psychiatrist would agree that psychiatrists are some of the most hurt people out there, and hurt people hurt people. I'm glad you've found a small group of loved ones who can hold you close and respect your boundaries.
I feel deep gratitude to you both for your willingness to share this vulnerable and powerful experience. You are shedding rare light on the healthy boundaries that are sorely lacking in our culture, in millions of families and billions of individuals! And I, for one, am different because of your truthfulness. So, thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you dear Emma! It's a joy to see you here. Thank you for caring about what I write- still. I'm enjoying reading what you write too! xoxo
I agree with you that healthy boundaries are what this world needs right now.
Your excerpt from the story stuck in my heart, I will probably walk around all day thinking about it. I look forward to continuing the story!
I love that phrase 'from doormat to diva' and might use it myself :) Such an important and under-talked about subject area, thanks for sharing so openly and insightfully
I've been rereading your posts, loving them at new levels and finding more connections and memories along the way. Thanks for being there, and for the always gentle nudging with love.