Examining Spiritual Beliefs Through The Lens Of Our Privilege

Excerpt From LOVE BIGGER

“This wasn’t non-duality- this was something very familiar to me from my previous experience. That is, the fragmented and over-development of a singular thread of consciousness. It all sounded noble- the plunge into the emptiness, the witnessing of the inner terrain, the masterful quest for my true nature- but there was something fundamental missing. The self was perpetually desacralized, as though God, the Universe, the Divine, made a mistake putting us in human form. A kind of personal violence- negate and kill the localized self in order to access the alleged ‘true Self.’ I couldn’t feel my heart, I couldn’t feel my toes, I couldn’t feel my penis, I couldn’t feel my passion for life. I felt like I was on a drug, one that nullified my very humanness. Was this an expanded consciousness or just a sequestered framework of perception? Advaita or avoida?” -Jeff Brown

While I could write at length about the benefits of many spiritual beliefs, practices, and philosophies, and while entire books have been written about the value of some of these spiritual teachings, I want to question and unpack a variety of common spiritual teachings and New Age beliefs which, while they may have some benefit for some people at the right timing, they may be hurtful if misapplied. Just as some medicines help some patients with some conditions some of the time but could kill others, these beliefs can be double-edged swords, used surgically to facilitate awakening or applied destructively to destroy someone vulnerable, especially those who have been marginalized, traumatized, and made vulnerable by forces outside of themselves.

Let’s assume that there are babies in every bathtub, and we need not throw out the baby with the bathwater. But for our purposes here, let’s take a unilateral look at how these beliefs could cause harm- without negating the fact that they can also be helpful for some people, some of the time, when used as the right medicine in the right moment. The problems tend to come when these beliefs or practices are applied indiscriminately as a cure-all panacea. When we paste these beliefs and practices upon other people without their consent, or when we apply them to ourselves without a trauma-informed lens, we can actually do damage. Just as a good doctor knows which medicine to use from the medical bag in any given healing crisis, skillful mastery of these practices includes knowing which practices to use when and with whom- individualized to the person who they might help at the right time and place, with a trauma-informed, empathic, and social justice lens.

I’m sure there are people out there- right now and in the historical past- who set out intentionally to misuse spirituality as a way to manipulate, control, dominate, and harm other people. I’m sure there have been those who use the 10 Ways To Oppress People With Spirituality for nefarious purposes. Just look at the horrors committed by dogmatic zealots in the name of the Catholic Church or Islam. I’m also sure that many have harmed themselves in the name of spirituality. Just look at those who have self-flagellated, fasted themselves into illness, or slept on beds of nails in the name of getting closer to God.

But for our purposes, I’m going to assume that YOU, dear reader, are not one of those people. Most people I know who are inadvertently unkind to themselves or others in the name of spirituality are horrified to discover that this might even be possible. These spiritual beliefs can become so ingrained as to be a kind of brainwashing that can strip us of our critical thinking and empathy. And this is nobody’s fault because we cannot be easily psychologically manipulated unless we have been hurt.

Assuming you would never want to cause harm or be harmed by your spirituality, let’s take a gentle and compassionate look at some commonly parroted New Age beliefs that you may have taken on without realizing that they could be perceived as unkind by some who may not share the same kinds of racial, socio-economic, gender or sexual orientation, or health and beauty-related privileges you may enjoy.

Before we dive into some potentially difficult material, let me state clearly that, lest you think I’m sounding all smug and self-righteous, I am personally guilty of parroting some of these same belief systems- even in past books I’ve written- because of my own blindness and wounding. If I have ever hurt you or anyone you love with the destructive aspects of these teachings, I’m sincerely sorry. I didn’t know better. I’m learning now. And I’m sure I still have much to learn.

Let me also say to any recovering spiritual bypassers, New Agers, or students of non-dual teachers who weren’t fully integrated, I care about you. I’m sorry these times are so hard, and I can relate to any suffering you might be feeling on a personal level. One reader told me she felt like these beliefs have been a crutch for her and that, like a real wooden crutch might break, she just lost the thing that’s been helping her get by. If you feel like you’ve been using your spirituality as a crutch, and you’re not ready to have that crutch potentially broken, it’s okay to take a break, stop reading, or disengage completely with this material. I trust your journey, your timing, your readiness, your resilience, and your intuitive, embodied knowing of what you can handle at what speed. Be kind to yourself.

What Kinds of Unearned Privileges Do You Have?

Before we dig in, I want to carefully define what I mean when I examine some of these beliefs through the lens of social justice and privilege.